President’s Day Staring Lineup
With President’s Day 2016 arriving, we got to thinking, ‘we’ve had some pretty rugged presidents in our country’s history; I bet we could put together a pretty dangerous team on the ice.’ So that’s what we did. Unfortunately, none of our presidents have ever shown a serious interest in hockey. There were fans, but no die-hards. So, what we did was take a look at what they were like outside of the Oval Office. Sure, JFK had great hair and could probably wheel better than most guys in the league now, but we found the ones that we would want on the ice. Some of our Presidents may have missed their calling.
Left Wing: #16 Abraham Lincoln – 6’4”, 185 lbs.
This one was very tough. Because he’s known as the tallest president, and notably slender, Zdeno Chara was the first comparison that came to mind. To be honest, it was really hard to shake that feeling. But on second thought, Lincoln would be a great winger. Definitely big enough to bang around in the corners, and maybe you play him at the point on the powerplay. Who knows? Plus, we found a pretty prime defender to take his spot on the blue line; more on that coming.
Center: (#1) George Washington – 6’2”, 188 lbs.
Washington was actually bigger than most people realize. 6’2”, 188. That’s a solid two-way center. You know the guy was tough as nails; he was rumored to have wooden teeth for crying out loud. He would have had no problem getting back on the back-check; something that NHL teams would love to have. We would have to imagine that George would be the Captain of this squad due to seniority and his role as General and Commander-in-Chief during the Revolution. It screams leadership.
Right Wing: (#7) Andrew Jackson – 6’0”, 145 lbs.
Every team needs an agitator. A guy that can get under the skin and into the head of the opponent. Jackson wouldn’t just be your agitator though; for his size, he could back it up. Jackson joined the Continental Army at age 12! And he didn’t take crap from anyone. Once when he was 14, he was captured by the British and commanded to clean an officer’s boots. Jackson’s response? “No.” Needless to say he ended up with a few lasting scars after that. Jackson even had the audacity to duel with an expert marksman. His strategy? Don’t shoot, hope the marksman misses, and then finish him where he stands. The marksman couldn’t judge where Jackson’s heart was because of the oversized coat he wore on his skinny body. The bullet smashed Jackson’s chest, but missed his heart. He then had the willpower to remain standing and patiently line up his own shot. I will take that kind of crazy on my team any day, not just on President’s Day.
Defenseman: (#26) Theodore Roosevelt – 5’10”, 237 lbs.
Teddy Roosevelt strikes me as someone who, although a bit out of shape, could hold down a blue line. He was a man’s man. Along with being our twenty-sixth president, he was also a known cattle rancher, a deputy’s sheriff, a police commissioner, and a war hero on top of all that. You want your stay-at-home defenseman to be tough? Well, Roosevelt was shot in an assassination attempt, survived, and then went on to give his scheduled speech with the bullet in his body. He let the bullet remain there until he died in his sleep almost seven years later.
Defenseman: (#38) Gerald Ford – 6’0”, 195 lbs.
Arguably the most athletic of our presidents, Ford was a two-time National Champion as the center on the Michigan football team. Ford made his living in football by grinding in the trenches, so we can definitely see him crushing bodies in the corners and clearing people out of his goalie’s crease. Ford would probably be the iron-man of the team. He lived to be 93 years old. He would be playing the most minutes, and missing the least games to injury. A steady presence like that is needed on the blue line.
Goalie: (#27) William Taft – 5’11”, 330 lbs.
Taft was the last president to rock facial hair while in office. Also, he was 330 lb. Not very athletic, but…
There you have it. What a patriotic team. If you have any presidents in mind that you would put on your team, let us know in the comments! President’s Day!